So You Want to Be a Kender

"So you want to be a kender eh?"

How now! Glad you decided to become a Kender! About time I say! Hooray for the good gods of Krynn! Therefore you are about to embark on your journey through Kender 101. The first and best advice I can give you is to read the first three Chronicles of the Dragonlance series. Do not read the forth with hatred or acceptance. The first three are accurate and follow our main Kender, Tasselhoff Burfoot, the one Kender who started it all. As a Kender you must know about his adventuring history, not to mention the history of your own kind in general.
I'll start from the beginning... The first version of the world of Krynn goes as follows...Chaos, the God created a Greystone. He had his child Reorx forge it. Reorx, the neutral god, Paladine the Light God, and Takhisis the DarkQueen Goddess wanted to play with it so they snuck it away from their father and created races and creatures on the empty world. The first were the elves and the dwarves and the humans. Then the greygem got lose and wandered around bumping into the races creating gnomes and such. It bumped around further until it combined the gnome with the elf; thus the curiosity of the gnome and the joyous embrace of life and nature of the elf were merged into the one being; KENDER...(of course there are different versions of this story because it differs depending on what race you ask. The dwarves want no such connection with the Kender as well as the elves and the Kender will always change their story.)
Kender Knowledge: Phineas Curick is Kendermore's human doctor...Tas is "EVERY Kender's relative" (and I say this sarcastically because that's what every Kender is told as a child or tells himself...it could very well be true considering Kender all have branched out)...And the same goes for Tas's Uncle Trapspringer who is EVERY Kender's Uncle. Every Kender claims he has THE Spoon of Turning. The real facts on this spoon not widely known, but the important thing is that Tasselhoff, a Kender, and a Hero of the Lance (the dragon wars involving dragonlances to kill the enemy dragons) once had the spoon and if you have it, well, then you're a very lucky Kender. Of course that's also what a money hungry merchant on the street will tell a Kender too just to make a few bucks... The facts remain...Kender are immune to natural fear, are irrepressible, independent (demanding something of a Kender will only result in taunts and stubbornness; They will volunteer readily however if the task is interesting enough), emotional, curious about everything, they have the inability to focus on one task for a long time, take quick offense at being accused of stealing...(they are handlers due to the fact that they take without knowing --A holiday in Kendermore is dedicated to this), they are naturals at picking locks and are offended if one is too easily picked, and love a good taunt dished out as well as received. Taunting is an art form...A Kender's duty is to quickly come out with clever and funny taunts at a moment's notice...Or for the heck of it. Excuses when caught: "I was keeping it safe for you"; "You must have dropped it"; "You said you didn't want it anymore"; "You really must be more careful. You knocked it right off the table into my pouch." (And these are said in total surprise and innocence...honestly.) Greeting/Departing: Kender will always wish another safe passage or happy trails or such. Mine has always been "May your paths be sunny and ogre-free!". These such phrases are polite, accepted, natural, and the proper Kender way to say farewell.
Their features include: Beardless, muscular or lithe, no taller than 4 1/2 feet tall (and that is a REALLY tall Kender), hair color:sandy blonde to dark brown and red hues--short cropped hair is popular in Hylo (this also depends on where the Kender’s head has been), but Goodlund Kender prefer long hair in braids, topknots, ponytails, and combed mains. Kender have pointed ears and are fair skinned but tan easily. *I have often caught a fellow who became a Kender with no understanding of anything I have just taught you.-Mind you it is a very funny thing to watch buuuutttt… Misconceptions that can annoy Krynn’s fans of Kender: giving a Kender wings, purple hair, fear, over accessive playfulness, and magical abilities naturally. All this can occur to a Kender of course but NOT naturally...It would have to have been caused by an accident. (example: Got into a mage's laboratory and..., or if the Kender is an afflicted Kender---occurs in later stories) They can however, use already magically induced objects.
Their appearance: Traditional weapon is the hoopack...a staff with a sling shot at the end of it and a metal pointed tip and the other end. When spun between a Kender's fingers it makes a high pitch whistle sound. Of course Kender will gladly use any weapon offered...or "found". Kender will also carry a tool of one's profession. Clothing is colorful and durable...And no Kender is complete without an arrangement of over 20 pouches hung all over containing only the Gods know...or the angry merchant chasing the Kender down the street.
Aging: Kender will always look like children or very small teenage adult humans with the exception of proportion which, unlike dwarfs who are unproportioned, the Kender is not. Adulthood begins around 20 and old age doesn't start to show until 70 as Kender live well over 100 years. Kender consider the aged look attractive, unlike humans, which includes a youthful appearance with smile wrinkles around the eyes and such. Little Kender children will paint wrinkles onto their faces to look grownup (quite different from human children who put color makeup on or dress in their parents' nice clothes to look grownup). Habits: When Kender become exited they'll get higher in pitch and talk very fast(anothertraitofthegnomewhichistotalkfastlikethis)and very loud. Around the early teenage years they feel the need to set off on their own and wander. This is called Wanderlust. EVERY Kender goes through this and it usually doesn't end until the Kender just gets tired or decides to settle down with a pretty Kender maid.
Now knowing about Tas, you need to know about his fellow traveling companions, the other Heroes of the Lance...For that you should read the first 3 Chronicles. Tas is most important one to know about and his dwarf friend Flint Fireforge. It doesn't hurt to know about the dark mage Raistlin either who was also a Hero... I know this will help you become a Kender as these are things you keep in mind until it all naturally comes out in huge explosions like dragon fire!
With all Kenderishness,
Shayla Foxglove
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